Tag Archives: Random

One Month

Baby Schein #2 was one month old yesterday.  Very busy several weeks.  I’ll be writing more shortly, including a review of Deadliest Warrior and hopefully, if I get around to it, a bit on why I think Steve Jobs is more evil and much more dangerous than Bill Gates ever was.


The Amazing Clock Batteries

I was Bar Mitzvahed on December 3, 1988.  That day, I received a slew of gifts, as any young Jewish man becoming a Bar Mitzvah does.  One of the gifts I received was a Seiko “World Clock” from the Webber family.  I remember using it almost immediately, so either December 4 or December 5 of 1988 is when I gave the clock its first breath of life.

ClockThe clock came with generic batteries.  They were a brand called “National Hi-Top.”  I can’t say I’d ever heard of them — before or since — however, I used them anyway. This clock became my “main” clock right away.  I used it beginning at age 13 for school.  Its distinctive alarm chime – “Beep beep beep beep! Beep beep beep beep! Beep beep beep beep! New York: six forty-eight, AM!” would repeat ad nauseum until I dragged myself out of bed to turn it off.

Nonetheless, the World Clock worked for me through the remainder of junior high, all of high school, and all of college without flinching.  Sometime around the end of college I started to realize that the batteries in the clock had lasted a pretty long time.  In fact, the were about to mark a decade of action despite being in use 24 hours a day for 10 straight years and housing an alarm deployed over 200 days a year.

December 4, 1998, I called my parents to let them know that the National Hi-Tops were still kicking.

I noted sometime in December of 2003 that the clock was still plugging away, marking 15 years of action.  Pretty impressive for a clock, but much more impressive for generic batteries.  If you go to your local CVS, Walgreens, or where ever you buy your batteries, you’ll note that batteries generally have an “expiration date” about 10 years hence.  This is because, in time, the liquid inside a battery can dry.  The lifespan of a shelved battery is about a decade.

BatteriesSo imagine my surprise come December 2008, when my little clock celebrated its twentieth year of service.  I’m not entirely sure that this is common today in either batteries or electronics, to have a solid build like this.  My clock has journeyed from the confines of Simsbury, CT, to Harrisonburg, VA and back many times.  It moved with me through Virginia from Vienna to Fairfax to Arlington to Fairlington, then to Florida from to Orlando, Deltona, and Altamonte… twice.  This clock has actually been with me, on the same batteries, for more of my life than it hasn’t.  Pretty crazy.

Sometime in the last year or two, I moved on to a different clock for day to day use largely because there is no snooze button on the world clock.  However, it still sits here in our house running.  When I played with it last week, upon tapping the time zone keys, I noticed the electric, but very British lady’s voice began to warble a little.  The ol’ girl has since gotten back on track, but it was the first sign she has ever shown of aging.

tn_clocksm31tn_clocksm41 I love my world clock, but mostly I love that she just keeps hanging in there. It’s gone from a hope that the clock survives to a simple interest in seeing how long the batteries will live. It’s impossible to predict how long AA batteries should last, as that fact is governed entirely by the device they are powering and much much power it draws.  However, I think it’s safe to conclude that these are fairly extraordinary.

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Happy 2009

Ham pee to though sand nigh into ever ewan.



Bumper Sticker and Lawn Sign Etiquette

My friend and I recently discussed election bumper sticker and lawn sign “rules” we’d like to see made into law. Our proposal goes as follows:

  • If your candidate wins, you are alloted 60 days or until the next major holiday to leave a bumper sticker on your car. You are allowed 5 days for lawn signs.
  • If you candidate loses, you are permitted a mere 48 hours to get the signs out of the ground, and just a scad longer at 72 hours to get the bumper stickers off, unless it’s a weekend sooner, in which case, by Saturday.

I think you look like an idiot with campaign stickers on your car any more than 3 months after an election. I still see people with “W 04” stickers on their car. Aside from the fact that I can’t believe there are actually people who think that this country is better off than in 2004, I think it looks so tacky to leave them on your auto. I saw a car the other day that had a “Clinton/Gore ’96” sticker on it – I swear. I couldn’t believe it.

So, please, do us all a favor: if you’ve got lawn signs in the ground, go ahead and remove them this weekend. If you were a McCain/Palin supporter, please remove your bumper stickers tomorrow, the 8th. If you were an Obama/Biden backer who adorned your car, congratulations, go ahead and celebrate until, say, Thanksgiving. But please, don’t let us catch you with those stickers after New Years, okay?

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The Most Randomest Photo

My Friend Laura

My Friend Laura


Seriously, what the hell is going on here?  Old car.  Outdated siding.  Blue Poncho. Cat’s ass. Eating something crunchy enough to require the first bite to be via molars.   And someone thinking “this would make a good picture.”  

I LOVE it.

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Things in General

Lots of really interesting stuff is going on right now, most of which I can’t talk about just yet.  It has kept me, in large part, from focusing on firsttube.com, which I regret.  I don’t want this site to devolve into reposting of political crap.  But many things are keeping my occupied.  I promise I will chronicle “things” soon enough, as soon as I know how everything shakes out.  

In the meantime, today is my baby girl’s first birthday.  It’s odd thinking she’s been around for a full year now.  It really seems like just recently she was born, and yet, at the same time, I can’t really remember life without her, so it feels like she’s been around for much longer than just the last year.   

It is truly amazing, the experience of parenthood.  You never think it will be, but it constantly is.


Flying Still Freaks Me Out

Why is it that I’m still a little freaked out by flying? Even I, a staunch logician aware of the safety statistics, am still creeped out by every bump and drop? Why?


Criteria By Which You Can Judge A Public Restroom

Overall cleanliness
I’m talking overall. Are there nasty paper towels thrown about? Are there available trash bins?

Tightness of the TP holder
Does the toilet tissue roll easily or is it tight? When you pull it, does it break before it rolls?

Are There Seat Covers?
These days, it’s commonplace to have toilet seat shaped tissue that cover the potentially offending public lid. I think most appreciate that as an option.

Is the Floor Dry?
Is the floor wet and nasty? Or is it dry and shiny? A wet floor – not wet from mopping, which is also bad, but wet from… uh… general use – is disgusting. Dry floor is always best.

Noise Level/Fan Presence
All bathrooms should have ambient noise. A small fan provides a level of discretion for any given stallman seeking to expel a standard dose of flatulence. Silence in a toilet is horrible for a stall-goer with company by the urinal. I can only imagine this is ten times worse in the ladies’ room.

Paper or Dryer?
Are there paper towels or an air dryer? Ideally, there should be both. Some prefer one or the other. Although air is cleaner (or so “they” say), I prefer a paper towel, which is faster and more effective at actually drying. I do not like ritzy cloth towels.

Paper Ply
Simply: one ply or two. I can live with 1 ply, but 2 is always superior for a proper and effective cleansing.

Number of Stalls
A single stall is a cardinal sin. Should one visitor have a bout with his bowels that requires an extended stay of several minutes – or, God help him, hours – the next guy is screwed and had better be well practiced in “holding it.” No eatery should ever be permitted to host only a single stall.

Space in Stall
If my knees hit the door whilst seated, or if when closing the door, I have to inhale and press myself against the other wall, or if the fronts of my shoes prtrude past the virtual extension of the door to the floor, the stall is just plain too small. A decent stall has enough room to comfortably close and open the door and doesn’t force the user to contort himself to fit.

Number of Sinks
A sink in the stall is always a bonus, but any restroom that isn’t a single unit should have at least 2 sinks. No one wants to wait for the big dude in front of him to finish, but more importantly, no one wants to use a nasty sink that has been filled with wet paper towels or other backwash. In the event of an “out of order,” a backup should be present.

Does the Autoflush Spray Ass or Seat?
If you have an autoflush mechanism, particularly an overeager one that likes to flush should one lean forward in the slightest manner, does it spray either ass or seat? A wet ass is an absolute no-no, and a flusher that douses the seat is equally annoying.

Ease of Access
A bathroom placed by a very public area where other visitors can measure your visit in time and number is an immediate negative point.

Can it Handle a Crowd?
If there are several people in the restroom, how does it fare? Space outside the stall is good too.

Space Between the Door and the Hinge
If the gap between the door and the hinge is too great, passers-by can have a gander and check out your sitting session. It seems a lot of public restrooms have this problem, where you feel the need to patrol the line of light that permits strangers to view your most intimate of activities. All stall makers should go to great lengths to assure that the door affords no more than 1/8th of an inch of view-space. If that’s not possible, get as close as you can.

Amount of TP
There should always be a backup roll, no question. If it’s not a commercial stall with a multi-roll holder that either has two side by side or one above the other, there ought be a small stash nestled behind the bowl or beneath the tank.

Does the Door Lock Easily/Properly?
If I have to apply some sort of special force, such as lifting the door with my foot or pushing down in order to lock a door, the bathroom is a fail. A stall – in my mind – is unusable without a proper lock.

Flush Power
One flush ought to clear the bowl, even for a most powerful excretion. Nobody – and I say nobody pretty firmly – wants to be greeted by a stranger’s turd crumbs, plain and simple. If you employ a standard gravity swirl flush rather than a commercial-like pressure assist, you should be wary. The standard “flush, whirpool, siphon” toilet, based largely on gravitational force, is demonstrably not as effective as removing offensive fecal bits that give public restrooms a bad image as the more powerful alternative. A single pressure assist jet will usually clean up a bowl, but a residential WC may require a bit more work. Sad for the small Mom-and-Pop restaurant, to be sure.

Well, that about does it. Those are the criteria by which I’d judge any public restroom.

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Peace at 7AM in Florida in the Summer

It’s been awhile since I’ve last written largely because I’ve been so busy. But I have to record this one passing thought. I woke up today, a Sunday, and walked the dog at just before 7AM. The sun was out, but not too hot yet. The birds were chirping, but no humans made any noise or could be seen. No one had yet begun mowing their yard or washing their cars. It was just the dog, the birds, the sun, and me.

I’ve tried meditation. I’ve tried deep relaxation. But honestly, right now, nothing I know of can beat the natural, organic peace of 7AM in Florida in the Summer.

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Math in Real Life, Part 1: Fruit Algorithms

I recently went to Costco and bought a rather large tub of blueberries. I am a huge fan of blueberries – in fact, the engine of this blog was once named “blueberry,” – and I am a huge fan of fresh fruit in general. While picking from said tub, I mentioned to a friend that as I munch away, I frequently scan the entire viewable area of berries and quickly select the “best” one in view for my next berry. I do this not just with blueberries, but with strawberries, raspberries, blackberries… in fact, I probably do it with many more foods. But in this case, we did an experiment, which goes thusly:

Shake a tub of berries so it’s a fresh “layout” and have a friend peruse it. Then, you each reveal the “best” berry – the one you’d go for if you were choosing. The first FIVE throws we matched 100%. The next few took us up to two or three picks to match. But the fact remains, we agreed that as we ate, we’d do a quick scan – all in an instant, of course, the deliberation is almost entirely subconscious – and choose the best remaining berry/berries. And furthermore, in the first five throws, we were able to agree with no debate as to which was the best remaining berry, without defining what qualities should be prized in an assessment of “best.” I think many people do this, and not just with fruit, but with all sorts of things. Is it just human nature?

There you go: math in real life.

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