Tag Archives: Psychology


I got flow. Flow is generally defined as a mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing, characterized by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity by Wikipedia.

See, sometimes I can REALLY focus on something, usually PHP, and make tremendous progress. So I’ve rewritten large parts of the Small Axe backend to deal with tags using Ajax. If I were more courageous, I’d rewrite the whole backend using better, leaner code, smarter coding techniques, and a more modern UI, but not now.

In the meantime, firsttube.com is running some of the best code I’ve ever written. Note the tag and subject clouds, the dynamic URLs, the styled feeds, and the HTML-templated site.

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Friday, about noon Eastern

So it’s Friday, and this has been an interesting week, to say the least. For a lot of reasons, I don’t want to get into it too much here, but it’s been a very long week. It’s really caused me to do a lot of thinking about things in general, and come to a few conclusions.

1. I need to focus more on the present and less on rushing into the future. Too much time spent thinking about “tomorrow” is generally just wasting “now.”

2. Having a todo list on paper is SO MUCH less stressful than having it in your head.

3. I am really genuinely excited for the wedding, and I really do consider myself lucky to find someone so fantastic who gets me, puts up me with, lets me care for her, and is such a perfect partner.

It’s rare for someone like me – someone who reads and researches almost hyperbolically, has compulsive tendencies, and is so methodical and detailed, to truly stop and enjoy the moment. That’s my new mission.

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code on high

i have this book that talks about a psychological state called “flow.” flow is optimization of sorts – when you are so focused you lose track of time and other needs.

while i have acheived this state of flow, i sometimes equate long term flow with writing php. see, i go for weeks or months without any real development – to the point i actually forget how the stuff i wrote works. then, shortly thereafter, i operate on high for weeks. lately, with the rebirth of ft, i’ve been on high.

c2 is now in the works, and it’s amazing how much better my code is these days. just look at qdpa and flip lite – small, smart, more secure, portable code. it makes flip look so amateur. that’s why i’m so excited for c2. when i get a weekend, i’m going to slam through a lot of the rough draft and get it semi-functional.

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Doting…Ever So

My impending move to Florida is hanging over my head with a crazy intensity. I can’t wait. I’ve been through highs and lows – moments where I wondered if I am about to make the biggest mistake of my life and moments where I can’t contain myself. Moments where I look at my paycheck and think, “What moron walks away from this?” And moments where I remember sitting on that beach in Clearwater and saying confidentyly “I am moving to Florida!”

So the day is now just under two weeks away, and here I am going through clothing to donate to the Salvation Army. It’s weird, because many of the clothes that are worn out to the point of unwearability are clothes I really am attached to. Old Phish shirts, KA shirts, shirts I loved when I got that are too dirty to be rags, a series of yellow-arm-pitted unltra-shrunken tees worth of nose-blowing at best. And it rings of “moving on.”

This isn’t just changing jobs – this is changing lives. Freshly LASIK’ed, I am truly closing the book on a chapter of my life and starting a new one.

Now I have to go, because some numbnuts just hacked the firsttube.com admin page and granted archives access to about 50 people. Dammit.

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