Acronym Soup: A Short Story

I booted up my QNX OS and tried VNC to my AIX box. Just then, I noticed a BSOD on my NT PC, which explained why I couldn’t RDP to it, but my data was probably safe thanks to VSC. “ic” someone wrote me on IM, and I quickly typed “BRB.” I jumped into my BMW to get to an ATM, and I drove through KFC. When I got back, I booted up my BSD machine and logged into KDE to check my files stored in UFS. It looked great even though I wasn’t using AIGLX, my ATI card showed my GTK and Qt apps looking A-OK.

I sat down and decided to write a program – but should I use ASP with VB or PHP? How about JSP? It didn’t really matter, because I was going to export into XML so I could use a DTS and SQL to import into my db. Since I was running BeOS, I decided that it would best to write my code in C with XHTML, so I just had to choose an IDE that worked with the API I had chosen. But my friend J.R. the MCSE told me he wanted it on his HP PDA and T.J., who is an RHCE and a CCNA, wanted it on his PSP. I decided to GPL whatever I wrote because the FSF would like that.

So I fired up my PC and booted Win Me. I had some old VB EXE files I wanted to review. Just then, some SOB asked why I was running Me and I asked him to keep it on the DL. He said “F U.” I kept track of my DLLs in an XLS file, and I had printed a PDF of the TOC. Outside the cubes, I could hear two VPs debating BFS vs. ZFS. One said he wanted ZFS to replace HFS. The other said he just wanted a fast CPU, a DVD RW, and a quality GPU. Since he bought his stuff OEM, he wanted to upgrade his PCI card to an AGP or PCI-X, but not until he bought himself a PCMCIA NIC. They talked it out, until it was ZFS, FTW.

“What’s your favorite app to open an RTF file?” someone asked me, and I said that I saved my work as TXT. But his docs were on a CD that discussed the benfits of SATA over IDE. So we plugged in an ATAPI (AKA EIDE) drive and since Me is UPNP, it opened. My screen was SVGA, but the system didn’t have USB. I got lots of IRQ errors.

We dialed into a BBS and cleared our ARP cache so ensure clean TCP/IP transfer. Someone wanted an a MP3 file, so I jumped on IRC and gave him a URL to DRM’ed AAC and WMAs. He got an HTTP 404, so we decided to FTP it or grab it off NNTP. The login ran through a CGI file, which failed, so I checked the FAQ. It required XP, but when I logged in and loaded AIM and MSN and my favorite XMPP program, I had a problem with my DNS, so I was SOL. I moved to OS X and dropped from the GUI to the TTY to try an SSH connection, but finally I used a PPTP VPN over my LAN via my DSL which uses the PSTN. I’m careful because, AFAIK, my ISP records my IP and blocks UDP, but then… IANAL.

Just then I was craving some TCBY. IMHO, TBCY is great, though YMMV. I emailed my buddy over SMTP from a machine running XFLD with XFCE, and he sent me a reply encoded with GPG. FYI, He was playing a MMORPG. FWIW, another friend, a real PITA, was writing a WYSIWYG HTML form.

It was just about closing time in UTC (AKA GMT), and IDK what came over me – I starting ROTFLMAO.


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